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aviation, baby, baby wearing, Breastfeeding, cars, formula feeding, health, la leche league, mental-health, new york mom, newborn, parenting, transportation
So basically at the end of my FIRST La Leche League meeting, I walked away from it feeling like everything I’m doing is wrong.
Since I was having so much trouble with breastfeeding, my friends recommended I attend a La Leche League meeting. So I did.
After getting the welcome speech, the leader asked me if I had anything I would like to chat about. I told her all about my breastfeeding struggles. I told her about how I stuck with it for 2 weeks until I realized that the baby just wasnt getting any food… the baby was crying I was crying… it was not good… And after lots of research and talking to my doctor I decided to supplement with formula. The leader said, I should feed all day all the time and the milk will come. So I asked her if she recommend a certain brand of formula… she kinda snickered and said, that’s like asking me if Burger King is better than McDonald’s. ( Ummm. McDonald’s. Duh! )
Then I said, I gave the baby a pacifier the other night because I just needed some sleep. And she said the baby is going to have ear infections and tubes in his ears because studies have shown that babies with pacifiers have ear infections.
We talked about pumping and according to her.. I should be attached to my pump all the time… LIKE ALL DAY. because you never know. This is impossible.
After all this, I asked her for her advice. Anything she can recommend, maybe I am doing something wrong. I mean this WAS a La Leche League meeting right? She shrugged her shoulders and said, I don’t really know. I didn’t have these problems. It all depends on the baby.
She asked about my delivery experience and I told her all about it and how amazing it was. With a sweet smile she said… that’s a lot of drugs. The baby was born with a lot of drugs in his system. Maybe going natural would have been better. So that was a fail too.
I don’t “baby wear’ enough. My sleep training is wrong…the baby is ONE MONTH… I haven’t started the sleep training yet… I should dance in circles in the rain and chant something is Sanskrit. I don’t know.. she read me my rights on all the things I was doing wrong!
UGH!
Now before I go off having a hissy fit… as if i haven’t already… let me say… this is nothing against the La Leche League organization. They have a TON of valuable info online and I have found their website very helpful. I think I just caught a dud meeting.
I spent the day pretty bummed out. It really is not easy being home all day with a newborn and not really having anyone to talk to and then the added frustration of not being able to produce milk and just boredom really.
Will I try another meeting? Not at this location. I might head to another neighboring town. But it does seem like the la Leche Leaguers are pretty holistic naturalists… who maybe might judge my formula feeding, drug induced delivery and have somethings to say? Not sure I want to go down that road.
*I know a ton of women who have had really positive experiences with La Leche League. And I have to emphasis that I DID find their online resources very helpful. Just caught the wrong leader.*
Ugh – what a bummer! I haven’t been to any of their meetings, but I have used their online resources (which I found helpful). That leader sounds like the anti-thesis of who they should have as a leader.
I remember how isolating it was to stay home with a newborn – call me, anytime!!! xoxox
I’m so sorry, Maria, that that lady was so insensitive! You are there because you want breastfeeding to work out and she’s not helping!
Sometimes those ladies are so passionate about breastfeeding and they know so much about all the health benefits, they forget that they shouldn’t judge another mom’s choices, they are supposed to be supportive even if that mom does things differently.
Please don’t give up – there is a supportive group out there for you. Feel free to call my friend Sharon Stone, the leader of the Yorktown group – (914)302-2530. She is wonderful.
Please read this again and again and again: “IG-NORE HER! You are an amazing mom and the fact that you are still trying to get your production going makes you a rockstar! Do not give up because some sissy (that never had to go throuh what you’re going through) makes you feel like you’re failing at this.” …Now read it again…
The first time I went to a LLL meeting, I didn’t like the militant attitude. I tried another meeting in another part of Brooklyn, and it was amazing. So open and supportive and HELPFUL. Not like the woman you describe at all. I’m so glad I found another meeting!
I also had worries about too little milk and I used formula in the first few days to supplement (especially because the hospital had been giving him formula in the NICU). When I called the hospital’s LC, the first thing she said was toss the formula! I took a deep breath (I was scared!) and did it.
From my experience, I disagree with both the doctor and the LLL leader. I do NOT think you should be pumping all the time. Not until you are secure and confident. And, if you want to be breastfeeding, then cut out the formula completely and just do the boob. If he is peeing, he’s getting enough. Formula/bottles are a lot easier for babies to get milk from – less work for the muscles. Kind of like ordering take-out instead of cooking. (I order a lot of take-out myself.)
If you are ambivalent about continuing with the breastfeeding, be at peace with that.
If you do want to keep it up, it’s never too late. Check out Dr. Jack Newman and http://kellymom.com/ – I found them very helpful. And I know you know to take it all with a grain of salt.
Hi Maria, I just read your breastfeeding struggle story. I went through a very similar experience. The best thing I did was to follow my instinct, and to do what I felt was right for me and my baby. I started supplementing, but it was not working either, so I stopped breastfeeding completely. After a week I gave it a try again and thankfully it worked. My boy was exclusively breastfed for eight months (from 2 months to 10 months) and he grew up to be a healthy boy (he is 19 months old now). I also attended a La Leche meeting at that time and although I didn’t find the meeting very helpful (the usual advice) the ladies there were very supportive. Hope things are much better for you now. A fellow Westchester mom.