A year ago someone said to me – “well everyday is your day off”
This was because I was a “WORK FROM HOME” parent. Cuz we have the sweet life ya know.
I work part-time.. sometimes full-time… depends on my clients and most of my work happens when Lily is in school or when she’s asleep.
Now with the baby, I have taken some time off and good thing because… this kid has me awake all the time and I can’t put him down and it feels like I’m trapped by his cuteness all day.
*WARNING* – This is a - I’m throwing myself a pity party – kinda post. Feel free to join.
Unless you physically spend countless hours with a newborn or young child at home with no one to talk to for hours on end… you have no idea of the overwhelming loneliness that settles in.
As wonderful and magical as the little MOTO is, days and days of being home alone with him can start to eat away at your mood. It’s bitter cold in New York, we moved to a new town this summer and I don’t know anyone, I can only wander around the mall so many times before it too becomes weighted with a cloud of loneliness.
I haven’t been able to shake off the statement – “everyday is your day off” It keeps me up at night. Especially because I do work so hard while juggling work and being at home as much as I can and I practically lost my dance career when we had lily and have created a new career for myself and even that is at risk for extinction because I’m home with a baby. I can’t help but wonder… is this what people with no kids think of us Stay/Work at home parents.
Maybe you think that we stay / work from home parents spend our days :
In our PJ’s until 1pm – Yes we might do that. But you know what… it’s because we can’t even go potty without a kiddo needing something or crying for hours and not able to put them down. And after we have taken care of everyone else with care and thought.. there just is no time left for us. I have to take a shower just to have a moment to myself… and even that gets interrupted by Lily wanting to jump in or complain about something.
We spend our time watching TV all day while sipping on a glass of white wine. – I have watched more television in these past 8 weeks that I ever have in my life and I am OVER IT. I’ve seen every episode of Law and Order and morning news television shows are making me dumber by the second, I’ve read about a dozen books… but there is not much else you can do when you are feeding all the time or rocking a crying babe to sleep. And those parents who are drinking wine in the morning… they need help and it IS because “everyday is their day off“
We spend luxurious days at the pool – yes, chasing down kids who have to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes or need food or need you to jump in cold pool water just to jump back out, your hair takes a beating from the daily chlorine and your skin color changes 10 shades darker and you can’t keep up with anything and have no time for anything you want to do…like swim a lap! because it IS a pool.
We go to lunch with friends and laugh and tell jokes with cool outfits on and perfect hair – yea right…I used to meet Lily’s friends and their moms at a local mall that had a kids play area. A ses pool of germs and who can have a normal conversation with kids around? between the “you better eat all your chicken nuggets’ and ” no you can’t have ice cream and coca cola” or “why didn’t you tell me you had to go potty” there is no time for a normal conversation.
We get to sleep in – HA! that’s just insulting.
Even a vacation …is NOT a day off. Who is waking up at the crack of dawn to feed, clean and entertain a little, who can never let their guard down for even a second to relax because god forbid the little gets stolen or falls or gets picked up by a hawk or eats poison or runs across the street without looking both ways or steps on a crack and breaks their mothers back.
I am in SUCH need for conversational stimulation, today – I didn’t speak to anyone from 8:30am – 3:15 PM. Not a soul. And this is not uncommon. It’s incredibly lonely, boring, repetitive and just overall overwhelming being home with a child.
I’m a competitive person. I love to work. I love having a project to complete and i love research and being with people and being stimulated and starting something and finishing it and being creative. I thrive on work and deadlines. And while being home and caring for kids IS work.. it’s the toughest work… i don’t have deadlines… no one will care if the laundry is not done, no one will care if the food did not turn out exactly like the picture on the recipe book. No One is holding me to any standards… except me i guess.
After our busy weekends and having everyone home…Monday’s are the worst. Matt has to work, Lily goes to school and I am staring at a string of days being home with the baby.
Our families are amazing but even they call to just talk to the littles… so that little moment of conversation that I so badly need is lost even with the people closest to me.
So the next time you see a stay at home/ work at home parent please do NOT think that every day is their day off… in reality they never get a day off.
The end… pity party over. Thanks for letting me get that out.
Tomorrow I have a blog event that I’m attending and sooo look forward to just TALKING to people!