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animals, baby, baby boy, children, girls, home, is he a baby or a retirement plan, Kids, lifestyle, motherhood, parenting, parents, people, relationships
I was standing in line at Michaels Arts and Crafts earlier this week and something very bizarre happend. So i’m going to take to the blogosphere to see if this is how things really are in the great big world.
Thom and I were out and about running errands and found ourselves at the craft store to pick up some canvas… for a fun project I’m working on… deets coming soon.
As we stood in line, there were a couple of women in their 70′s standing behind us. I’m guessing 70′s purely on visual intake. So they could be really partied out 28-year-old’s for all I know.
One lady ( lady #1) says: ” oh what a sweet baby. He’s a boy right?” Me: Yes, he’s a boy. He’s 12 weeks. Lady #1: What a sweet face. (Thom, who can now see people, smiles one of his magical smiles.) Lady #1: and new Lady #2: Aww, what a smile. Lady#1: He’s gonna take good care of his mama. Lady#2: Oh yes he is.. he’s gonna be mama’s caretaker Lady#1: He will make sure his mama doesn’t grow old alone and will take good care of her.Oh yes you wil. Lady #2: Oh yes he will, he’s gonna be with his mama all his life. Lady#2: Gesturing toward Lady #1 – Her son takes really good care of her. Buys her really nice things and does everything for her. Takes her trips. Me( in my head): WHAT THE HELL -O !This went on for a while. With Lady#1 and Lady#2 going on and on about how this TWELVE WEEK OLD BABE is going to make sure I am OK in life and is going to be my prince and my savior…
my savior from what?
and Matt’s my prince…
and why the drama pressure ladies?
So it made me think… do boys grow up with this unmentioned pressure to not only care for their future traditional families – wife, dog, kids – AND now to support their moms’ and not let them “grow old alone”.
I have a brother. he absolutely dotes over my mom. I often times think about his relationship with my mom and wonder if mine will be similar with Thom. Does my brother feel pressure to take care of my mom?
My siblings and I all have a close relationship with my mom and grandmother. It’s all we have really. And we are all close. I’ve never defined this in boy/girl terms and there was never a pressure that I felt growing to do or be anything.
So is this a generational statement and mentality? Does the older generation expect this from their kids/grandkids?
Meanwhile… i don’t have any expectations of Thom. He just needs to be who he wants to be.. no pressure.
He’s my baby… not my retirement plan.
Matt on the other hand… he’s my prince!
What do you think?
I think those ladies were nuts. Ignore them. There will be plenty of strangers who will coo over your children and tell you odd things, give unwanted advice…etc..
I have seen a lot of mommas raising their sons to be just that…their prince. They dote on them and spoil them unbelievably. I was in a stitching group with a bunch of parents from my swim classes. All have at least one girl and one boy. All pushed the girls relentlessness and babied the boys. So I asked why…here was the answer.
“We want our girls to be strong and independent, but our boys are just going to get married and their wife will take care of them.” Ugh!!! Who do they think is going to marry their “momma’s boys”? Definitely not the “strong women” they are raising.
I truly do think that comments like this from boomers and beyond really do give us a window into our world. I love that you were moved enough by what they said to write about it here, and hope that my experience might shed a little more light on their words of wisdom ….
I grew up with four brothers, no sisters, and an amazing mom who was my best friend till the day she died. After my dad died, my brothers called her almost every day just to make sure she was okay, and they were there for her in a New York minute if they felt something was amiss. I have four sons, no daughters. As they’ve grown older (they’re now 13, 18, 19 & 21), they have become more and more attentive to me. asking if I feel okay if I get a sniffle or bad cough … suggesting I take a nap if I look tired … picking up my favorite Almond Joy candy bar from time to time … asking if I need them to run to the store for anything. (BTW, I’m in excellent health, so it’s not like I always look like I’m gonna keel over
My dad was a strong father figure to my brothers, as my husband is to my boys. All this is to say is that from my experience, it may just be in boys’ DNA to take care of their moms. Not so much from a materialistic or financial standpoint. It’s more about the special emotional connection between boys & their mom. And I gotta say, it feels pretty darn good. I love what those ladies said about your son, and I hope their predictions come true as he gets older.